OG tale updated wif bigger fonts!! ( part1)

aha so u want to compete me ah minghao. . . cmon man dis is so going to more than 10000 words wahahaha... stroy wrting competition lol... i tink its gonna be some stupid fairy tale again haha medevial tale lol wif u all in it!!! ill try to make it as farny as possible lol... muz whack up minghao and his stupid dual meanings haha..

AN OG TALE

Once upon a time in the far away reaches of OG land , there was this damn medium sized kingdom called ke'rayzae, short from "dumb". . so in this dumb kingdom. . it was ruled by a wise and smart and HOT King called . . Dumb ass. . . But then ... he like died choking on a pigs buttock.. . so IRONIC... ass and buttock haha. . . so like he had this onli son called CMH which stands for Corny" Man Hunk" ( dun puke haha) so prince Corny was like a bit dense in the head, but he needed to succeed his fathers throne bcos hewas the onli child ... he had no jieeeeeeee... or anithing, so wise wise advisers of the kingdom of dumb decided to help him become smart by getting this special potion which was actually made by extracting the hormones from monotrygloceride and then mixing it with the reaction with the mono acetic tetra thiosulphate bi carbonate diphenyl tri phospate bi carbonate in this special sauce from some fruit and then reacting it with the catalyst of a samsung e330C . . . This secret recipe was found in the sacred annals of the og diary and like was known for its extreme efficiency and its power to make an instant genius. . if it fell into the wrong hands, it wld mean BIG trouble . . . thus " with great power comes great responsiblitity" haha..

Therefore, to ensure that the potion was only meant for corny prince to drink , they had to make sure that the ingredients gathered were not stolen... thus they sent along 5 of their best menand women ...

Charcoal black charizard... a female wif a face almost as dark as the night. . . but shes not like a negro lar. . . juz damn brown lol.. . . If i was mean, i wld say that she was abt the same color as s**t... (juz kidding haha)... and her weapon was like her bare teeth!! no one cld beat her in her toothing skills lol... aha but then that was not all. . . sometimes, shes so fierce that u cld even see her breathe frie from her mouth.. oh MY how scary... but thats NOT all . . she can like act cute too... so everyone has to beware of her man.... she will like hold a guitar and then say :) :) :) and then u will let down yur guard... AHA and thens when she sinks her teeth into yur flesh and deee dee deee deee ( censored lol) ...

And then there is the damn power guy called quali man!! My god hes super pro lor.... though his face is like a quali... but "looks dont matter!!!!" his tennis powers are so damn pro that he can even use them in battle also.. when he gives u his quali stare, you will so turn from a raw egg into a sunny side up haha. . . Something like clark kent haha. . . he uses his eye powers than using his quali face he like concetrates the beam s into a single shot that cld scorch u into ashes if u remained in it too long lol... Few have ever met him bcos hes like so dao.. but his superior skills trancend time and boundaries and it is said that even the other people from og land... have heard his awe striking name... ( a side note is that though hes quite a menace... his massaging skills aer TOP notch and he can like ubdue any gal man haha...)

Third, is this fishball bobo.. though shes onli a bit round... when she rolls, she can so like flatten the whole place haha... but dun get me wrong... shes not a butch... haha... Shes just like sonic the hedgehog... she rolls on the spot for like a while to charge up... then accelerates at super fast speeds all over the place... and it is even worse when she gets boots.. haha.. she will be like a blur racing ard the place unable to be caught up wif lol... ahhhh but thats not the only powers that shes got. . shes aslo got the ARM power man!!! with her tremendous superhuman strength she can like beat almost ANYONE in arm wrestling... in fact she was crowned arm wrestler of the year 20 times consecutively man How pro is that haha.!!! But one of her weaknesses is shhhhhhhhh her balance lol.... if u try to get her to lunge, she will always seem to fall down... ( or mabbe att. seeker haha)

Woah now on the 4th one hmmmm. . . who issit??? its rizki the man woo hooooo.. lol though he doesnt look like the fighting type and stays on the castle boarding... he like can shatter anyone and their ego wif his words man... U suk U suk U suk U suk U suk U suk . . mi god.. the sound of his words like verberates throughout the entire universe man... the person he targets will immediatle y fall to the floor in tears. . , begging for mercy, unable to continue to fight anymore haha!! But what he does during his past time is even more horrifying.. . . he makes people cry for the fun of it.. . . wif his talent in pool..., he thrashes evrybody who challenges him or he challenges and then says...
U suk U suk U suk U suk .. then the guy will fall to the pool table sobbing and weeping " boo hoo boo hooo i lost my shoeeeeeeeeee" haha...

last but not least, the strongest and most ahem person in the grp.... yoda .. u may have heard of it in star wars but noooo... its not the same yoda as before.. ITS BACK WITH A VENGEANCE... armed with a muderous stare and lightsabers made of pure pure .......???? , its the most powerful thing in the galaxy. . . few are able to rival its balde skills and some wondered if it comes frm the crap side... haha( back side haha) its like never before!!!greeen and now wearing glasses bcos of old age. . . it now is able to twist the force to its evry whim and fancy. . . hahahaha No kidding... it can make u die just like COCKROACHES getting hit by a broom ( i tink its hotel rwanda haha) and poof!! it can appear anywhere it wants.., trancending 3d normal space.., t goes thru the 4d dimension and cuts thru space time boundaries thus causing a quantum flux tearing a part a hole in gravitic space and thus warping out in another worm hole haha ( phewww)

So these 5 outstanding warriors, with their powerful skills and powers, were charged to protect the prince corny on his quest to gain the 3 items needed to produce the potion of unstupidity haha.. ANd thus the fellowship of the crap were formed haha.. *starting theme sonf of some dumb show playing* "On a quest to protect the naive and stupid prince corny... the 5 heroes charcoal, qualiman , fishball bobo, the man and yoda have combined their innumerable powers!!! and become captain crap man) gogo power crap man . . .. . gogo power crap man. . . gogo power crap man , mighty morphin power crap mannn haha "

Erm the story continues.... though these 5 unlikely heroes and the stupid prince were on the dangerous quest to go and find the items... they had no directions... so howw? They went to bishan mrt and looked at the map... then... they saw it... the word... "orchard leh!! mabbe got the fruit that will make the sauce containing mono acetic tetra thiosulphate bi carbonate diphenyl tri phospate bi carbonate lol.. . ."
So they took out their cards tapped the machine and set off for orchard, hoping to find the fruit... but when they got to the train it was already packed with people... being hurried for time as they were damn kiasu... rizki went u suk... and everyone came out crying. . . then they took the train and waited to get to the orchard... but along the way. . . . . . .

Prince corny man hunk sat on the chair, waiting for a pear.. he hear the phrase door closing... and went ramming ... and broke the mrt ceiling.. his head got stuck.. he lost a buck .. and he cldnt get out.. to his dismay, they contd to play, cared they did not , they looked up his short, laughing at the small" knot".. . .alas.. when they finall reached orchard, they pulled him down and carried him out .. But to their big surprise!! when they left the mrt... and walked ard they could see naught but buildings.. then they caught sight of a place called borders... then charcoal the smartest one wif 9 A1s said.. thats the border... we cant go there or the nemesis will attack us.. . Then prince CMH said MY foot!! and then he forced them to move on to border s. . .

On reaching the area near the border(s), and approaching some minitoons shop, prince CMH suddenly said... eh??? my friends' friend wants to buy a present for this girl.. . her birthday.. so, he went in.. But as soon as he stepped into the shop, he suddenly heard super loud thudding sounds. . Fe Fi Fo Fum I cant get my da vinci code book !!!! From out of nowhere, a big green ogre appeared wif a nasty expression on his face. . and said " Im ryannnnnn but u can call me shrekkk!!! Im gonna eat u up cos i cant get my book wahahahaha!!" Immediately the 5 bodyguards sprang into action.. Rizki went "u suk u suk u suk u suk" But there was no effect.. because ryan the shreks ears were full of ogre earwax and he cldnt hear a thing.. . PLUS, he had like been listening to shezae 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 times a day at full blast... so he was practically deaf..
instead, he gave rizki a punch in his face and rizki fell with an " I sukkkkkkkkkk"

Seeing that rizki's atk cldnt work and that he was down, the 4 of them were stunneddd.. and they asked ryan... "what are u" and he answered " i am a short green ogre called ryan the shrek, who looks like the HULK but with 20 times the waistline and 100 times more crap. . .ALso, ive got BIGG rippling green ogre muscless which are soo gonna whacl u upside down wahaha...!!" wif that , they began theyre battle to protect the idiotic prince CMH. . Fishball bobo went first and with her super sonic speed. . she cricled around the giant green ogre and at the precise moment when he was dizzy, she pounced on him and using her superhuman bicep strength ( god knows how she got it) , She punched him with all her might... but alas he had a super thick layer of blubber which could repel any attack... and according to newtons dunno wad law, <> so like all her super human bicep strength was turned against her and she fleeeeeeew 2000 feet into the air and with the gravitational acceleration of 9.82..... , she landed on the ground nearby with the force of an atomic bomb without the explosion... creating a hole with the size of a human fishball.. . . with her lying there motionless but not dead. .
With that, it was qualiface's turn to attack lol. . gathering up his best tennis skills. . he threw the ball up into the air and poof. . . wad was it???!! TWIST SERVE!!! the ball landed on the ground with such intense spin that it was drilling a hole in the ground.. . and when it bounced up, it went in a totally different direction, which went for the shreks face and piak. . it went into his ear... But as his ear was already full of ear shit, he could like feel no difference, so he just stood there like a dumb ass wondering wad happened... Not willing to give up.. qualiface prepared another one of his super serves... Wad was it??!! though it seemed to be a light underhand serve , it was actually the VANISHING SERVE!!! landing on the ground, it suddenly disappearred... before ryan could see it, it had already hit his nether regions.. .. OOF. . But it seemed to have no effect!! . . " have u NO NUTS" qualiface shouted lol.. . Then he decided to use his ultimate moveee.. dropping the ball, he hit it wif all the might his tefal body cld muster. . then he focused a beam onto the ball and POOF it became BURNING SHOTTTTTT... in no time at all, the ball connected with ryan.. but alas his slimy sweat put out the fire and his erm fats cushioned the impact haha.. So how? In the end, qualiface ended up wif broken handles lol...
Next was who? Charcoal charizard lol with her steel like teeth like frankenstein.. pounced into the battle field.. She approached Ryan and said in her cutest voice... ' Will U PURLEASE go AWAY???" but obviuosly it wont work rite.. shes like not cute lor.. therefore, she had to abandon that plan and try something else. . As it was like night time, her movements were like invisible to the unknowing shrek haha. . using her super evasive tactics, she pounced on ryan=shrek. like a dog to a bone haha... then she sank her fangs deep into his shoulders... but on biting him, she immediately jumped back and spit out... "YUCK U TASTE LIKE WASABI " she exclaimed... then from a corner she heard mighao say.." i eat for u la..." , But she OBVIOUSLY rejected him cos shes a llllllland she didn want to have rumours, so she continuedwif her frenzy attacks.. But soon the wasabi was getting to her. . and she lay on the floor in seizures from extreme wasabi exposure, with steam coming out from her ears. . Then shrek cried out" haha u got killed by my shampooo wahahaha" ...
With 4 of them defeated, who was there left to fight but da da da da dah YODA... with its superhuman powers... zapping around at super fast speeds, even faster than fishball bobo, it pulle out its light sabre which glowed brown in color(from back side wad) and attacked shrek like cloud and the omnislash man. . . But the 2 green freaks were quite evenly matched... shrek was quite fast even with his large mass and he was able to dodge all the attacks.. But then YODA switched to using the force.. and pushed shrek to the ground wif its mind power.. Stuck on his butt, shrek had difficulty escaping the numerous blows from yoda.. so.. how..? In his most patheric voice ... he said " im.. im .. your cousinnn" Momentarily stunned at what he had said, yoda let her guard down.. At that moment, ryan pulled out his laptop and with its super 200 mega pixel camera, he took a picture of yoda which was saved to the (my pictures folder) .. then he said " haha now i got yur pic... if u dun let me go.. ill send it to like EVRYONE AHAHAHHA" So how? yoda was stunned... It didnt want its photo to be all over the internet man... So it advanced threateningly, warning ryan not to send the photo, but ryanshrek like got so anxious and he pressed the <> button and poof.. it was all over the internet... Furious with rage, and full of dark energy from the (back side) yoda was turning brown... it attacked ryan with no mercy but at that moment POOF.. princess cheryl leapt out of nowhere to block the blow... fortunately for her YODA pulled away in time and turned back to its normal green.. But then it said... U muz call me aR.. Just Chiobu haha... to save ryanshreks ike princess cheryl(fiona) agrred and said.. u R Just chiobu lar... appeased, Yoda decided to spare them.. and The 2 of them joined the 6 wanderers... As prince CMH decided to buy shrek <>..
And so the now group of 8 continued their quest to find the mono acetic tetra thiosulphate bi carbonate diphenyl tri phospate bi carbonate fruit lol... "( after the other 4 woke up lar) but the battle wif shrek was no lost cause.. as he da brought information abt the mono acetic tetra thiosulphate bi carbonate diphenyl tri phospate bi carbonate fruit... he said that in his ARSEville where his DONKEY lived, there was sign of a tree wif the descriptions that they had provided.. but it was like in fairy land and they would have to use Yodas powers of pulling apart space time to get there lol... So with yoda pullin open a worm hole to go thru, all of them leapt in and BAMM WHAMM FIZZZ TA DAH they were in fairy tale land whcih was like a place of magic and wonder full of crappy nonsense.... ha ha hah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha

END OF PART 1